linda lights

gratitude ver 2.0

In continuing the exercise I started… three more things I am grateful for.

1. I am grateful for being alive and well.

While yes I am a huge hypochondriac, I think the little voice of reason inside of me truly does recognize the fact that I am overall pretty healthy and well. I have not had any major issues, and more importantly—I’m alive. There are so many people who have to live with dangerous circumstances, and I have to say although oftentimes I think my life is stressful or I get emo about my social interactions with family, friends, and love interests, there is really nothing to stress about, because I’ll live. Literally.

2. I am grateful for my education.

I feel so lucky that I was given the opportunity to have such a great education. Granted I don’t know exactly what I want to do, I have the power of knowledge. I know things, and I think it makes me more aware of my world and how to make the best of it. There are so many people who weren’t given this opportunity to enrich themselves, and I really should make the most of it. All of those times I skipped class to sleep or because I was too hungover, it wasn’t worth it. I am happy that I have had this opportunity when so many others had to find different paths without a choice just given the circumstances. I’m glad my circumstances allowed it.

3. I am grateful for my grandmother.

My grandma actually took care of me for 75% of my childhood while both of my parents went to work to make enough money to support the lifestyle they have now. Some people would argue that as mothers, they would have preferred to spend more time at home with their children. I think that’s true to some extent, but I turned out just great. My grandma is like a second mother, because she is wise and understanding. I have two sides to everything—my mother’s practical, modern thinking she observes from other people’s mistakes and successes, and my grandmother’s compassion. Basically together that makes me the person I am today. It’s awesome.

I used to think forcing myself to believe I am happy was faking it, but I realized that if I forced myself to believe I was sad, was that faking it too? The more I wallowed in self pity and despair, the deeper I sank. Like quicksand. So I realized that it worked the other way around too. The more optimistic I am, the more I believed the glass was half full, the more inclined I’d be motivated to fill it to the top. So what’s wrong with that? Nothing, I realized. 

It’s never too late to make myself a more positive person. I was upset when one of my ex boyfriends from college (of only 3 months, but nevertheless disappointing) had given me the best and most honest feedback anyone could during a break up: “Linda, you really need to be a more positive person.” I realized this was true. While the easy way out was to focus on the negatives, because gosh, if you’re looking for it, you can find so much wrong with the world….the better path to success was to focus on the positives. 

And so while I’ve lost a bit of my wit in the past few turbulent years of my life and my latest posts have been more self-motivational, I’ll get back to a sound place soon. Until then…